Most of us have known couples who have chosen to have a child as a way to deal with the problems within their relationship; vacation homes are sometimes used in the same way. This is particularly problematic as finding the right vacation home requires excellent communication between partners. People weave a lot of expectations into the purchase of a vacation home. These may involve childhood memories, status, utility, and recreation. Indeed, some individuals may feel that they have more at stake emotionally in a vacation home than in their primary residence.
Before beginning the journey to vacation home ownership, a couple should ask themselves, "Does our relationship have the maturity to support the frank discussions and inevitable compromises it will take to find the right home-away-from-home?" The couple who is seeking relational healing through vacation-home ownership will be very disappointed.
There have been points in our relationship when my wife and I could not have purchased a vacation home without damaging our marital bonds. However, those years are in the past; on this quest we embraced each others expectations and used them as a road map to find the way to our dream cabin.